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Jadwal Sholat

What Love Is

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What is Love
What is Love?
I write this for you who are in "Neutral Condition", that is, you are not just falling in love or just broke up. But, if you are in love or just broke up, and wondering about this, it's ok too. But maybe your response is slightly different than what I intended to with this writing.

First of all, how can I came up with that idea, what was I thinking so that I want to talk about love?

Well, I saw people lose their minds when they are in love. When they just fall in love, they will acting crazy, broke rules, able to do an in-steroid action fueled by love, and so on.  And when they just broke up, they too will do crazy things, but on the opposite of the first one, and for the worst case, they kill themselves or other people.

What I mean by that is, is this "Love thing" change human? Give them more power to do all those crazy things?

Ok, the love we talk about now is the love between man and woman that drives them to live together. For another love term like the love of parents to their kid or love human to another human, love human to the environment, and so on, I will talk about it in another article.

Love, biologically
So how this man-woman love works?
I will try to see this love phenomenon from a biological perspective. About what happening in our bone and flesh, when we are in love.

Human is a creature that lives on this planet, a sentient being just like Elephant, ants, slug, fungus, blue whale, coconut tree, Flowers, and so on. Every sentient being needs to replicate and multiply, in order to keep their existence on this planet.

Now, how is the mechanism of this sentient replication and multiplication?

Well, for humans, sex obviously.

Sex is a mechanism to create a new replica of humans and also multiply human. Sex is a mechanism to make male sperm can fertilize the female egg cell, which triggers a 9 months new human creation process.

But this human replication is a tiring process. Sex activity consumes a lot of energy. On the other side, the female is suffering during pregnancy and delivering the new human, the baby.

In a "neutral" condition, no human will want to do this replication activity. What I mean by "neutral" is, humans, get nothing in return.

But in reality, humans willing to do sex, they like sex. Since sex activity can make humans feel happy.

So in order to make humans willing to do replication, through sex, pregnancy, and delivery, the human will get "reward" on doing this. The reward is a certain "biological recipe" that makes humans feel happy and content.

So what is this "biological recipe" consist of? What is the recipe?

The recipe is quite extensive, and since I'm not a biologist, I'm not going to discuss it thoroughly using scientific terms and facts. I'd rather discuss the concept, the way of think. And of course, you are free to CMIIW.
Human hormone that affecting love
The human hormone affecting love

If you want to read love biologically that contain scientific terms and facts, you can read it at reputable universities websites like the University of Minnesota, Harvard, and so on. There is even a book specifically write about it, the title is "The Biology of Love", by DR. Arthur Janov.

Ok, let's go back to what we talk earlier, the replication. In order to replicate and multiply, a human must do sex. Sex is preceded by what we call "love". Love is the state where males and females are attracted to each other. This attraction force comes from the assessment of each other, and hormone condition within their body. When the assessment result is stated that they are accepting each other, then they are formally lovers.

What causing love?
It's all began with a selection. Whether we realize it or not, on this replication business, we do a selection. We will select the best female/male as a partner to create the best replica.

But what are the criteria we use to choose which female/male is the best?

On this, we are still using the same old selection mechanism that passed through generations from our ancestors that live with beasts in the dangerous environment. In choosing a partner a female will choose the strongest male, and the male will choose the healthy and most fertile female.

But life in this 21st century is far from the beast and mighty jungle. We live in a safe and comfortable environment. Do we still need this Strong Male and healthy fertile Woman?
21st Century Life
21st Century Life

The answer is yes we do, even though there is a shift in partner selection criteria nowaday. But if we think about it a bit further, it still applies the same concept.

Long ago in the Beasts era, the male has to be strong to be able to hunt the prey for food and provide shelter for the family. Now, in the 21st century, a male must be wealth to be able to do just the same-, provide food and comfortable shelter for the family.

And for the female, the criteria are more or less the same. Female with a good sign of health and fertility is preferred. This sign of health and fertility is often associated with a beauty, a good looking and good shape of a female.

Both of these signs, Wealth for male and Beauty for female, is unconsciously set by us as a criterion of "good quality for breeding" parter for replication and multiplication.

So when a man meets a woman, this selection mechanism will be fired up. They will appraise each other, whether he/she is a "good quality for breeding" or not. If she/he is, then they will accept each other.

When they are accepting each other, then they can continue to do a "replication".

Unfortunately human tend to hack this mechanism. Instead of doing sex for replication, they are doing it for fun and not intended to create a replica and multiply.

Wait, maybe you think that I'm going to promote free sex. Please don't think like that. Please read this until the end, I will show you that I'm not doing that.

Ok, let's back to the thing called love. Love appears in the "male and female attracted to each other" process. Although the biological condition is pretty much the same with all humans, like the hormone overflow, oxytocin, dopamine, Estrogen level, Testosterone level, you name it. But what makes it different is how each human translates this "love biological recipe" into real action.

This real action translation of love's biological recipe is what we found on what is doing by those who are in love. I won't write it in here, please use your imagination to imagine the sweetest love story (or the most bitter one).

Society Influence
Human is living with another human in a very large group called society. This Society is influencing lovers in many ways. One of the most strong influences of society is that society creates some sets of rules and values to be followed by all of its members. These rules and values are created to keep an order of society so that every member can live their life peacefully.

One of the rules is the rule for "human replication and multiplication". The rule is called marriage. Society applies this marriage law in order to rule the human replication process so that it does not end up a mess.
Just Married
Just Married

Applying this rule is a must because human need a long time to develop their bodies from newborn babies to adults that ready to feed his/herself. Unlike a horse, that they able to walk just a minutes after their birth, and then feed their self with grass, human baby needs help during their growth from a baby into adult age.

This what marriage is intended to. To keep adult humans protect and grow their replica until they are stable and able to live by themselves.

Can you imagine what will happens if Human is like other "irresponsible" animal? A man meets a woman, have sex, the man leave and then have sex with another woman. The woman got pregnant, deliver baby, then leave the baby to grow by themselves? Scary isn't it.

This irresponsible replication is bad for society. Kids that abandoned by their parents usually grow up with bad attitude, and even tend to be a criminal. On the other hand, the abandoned child will become a burden to other family members (the child's grandparents, uncle, relatives, etc).

If teenagers having sex, and then get pregnant, and then both the boy and the girl are forced to marry in order to take responsibility, these teenagers are not ready to form a family. The boy will find that it is hard to get a job so that he can't feed his new family. The girl is not ready yet to nurture a baby, so the baby is in a continuous condition of miss treatment and it will affect his/her growth. And then you can continue the rest of the story, which usually has a bad ending.
Unready Family
Unready Family

That is why humans create marriage law. To grow and protect their replica.

Whew, that was a long read eh?
Thanks for reading this far, I really appreciate it.

Ok, after reading this, I hope you guys, my beloved reader, understand 2 things:
  1. Love is not the whole world. In fact, Love is a bodily mechanism, just like hungry or sleepy. So when you experiencing trouble in a love relationship, please act normally. It's not the end of the world. It's just like when you are starving because you had no breakfast this morning. Don't kill your self. Just go find some meal and eat it. The same with this love thing. When you broke up with your lover, just go find someone else. Love is about perception and acceptance. Your perception about someone and from that perception comes up an acceptance.

  2. Please be aware of how you do "love". Every action comes with consequences. As in replication and multiplying, you have to take responsibility to grow your new replica. Don't be a loser that runs from it. So make sure that when you have sex, you are ready with all the consequences. Follow rule and value, don't do sex until you got married. So you guys will have healthy sex that good for your physical and psychological health. Besides, with responsible marriage, you are taking part in creating a good society. Since irresponsible replication causing bad, a long term bad situation for family and society.

That's all for me. Thank you again.

Credits to the owner of the pictures, from top to bottom:
  • AndisBilderwerkstatt
  • Rajendra prabhune
  • Olgaozik
  • Whatnisa
  • tpsnews.ca

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37 komentar

  1. Ngomongin soal cinta memang enggak pernah habis. Cinta itu universal dan menjadi modal dalam sebuah ikatan, perdamaian dan kehidupan. Semoga kita senantiasa dikelilingi orang orang yang penuh cinta.

    1. Aamiin...
      "Cinta adalah modal dalam sebuah ikatan, perdamaina dan kehidupan", quote nih ^_^

  2. 'all you need is love..' begitu kata the beatles. sepakat. cinta dalam konteks universal tentunya.

    1. I need air to breathe, I need food to eat, I need house for shelter, I need clothes to keep me warm. Human has a lot of needs ^_^ Ah, yes, we can get all of those using love as "currency", to exchange all of those commodity.

  3. Cinta emang multi tafsir...bisa dimaknai dengan apa saja yang tertuang di dalam jiwa. Bila telah cinta, maka tak hanya harta, jiwa, raga dan darah pun akan berkorban untuk membelanya

    1. Namun sebaiknya pengorbanan tersebut worthed dengan apa yang kita terima, jangan berkorban untuk jodohnya orang^_^
      Kan sakit mbak :D

  4. I almost rotf when I read "please act normally. It's not the end of the world"

    Sometimes they like to write something "galau status" in timeline.

    1. For "hormonal" teenager, being "galau" is something common, but for Adult, galau is a bit irrational :)

  5. Cinta itu bahasannya memang sangat luas dan universal. Karena cnta tidak hanya dengan lawan jenis, tapi bisa pada keluarga, saudara, anak, termasuk cnta tanah air.

    Khusus cinta soal hati pada seseorang, pastinya juga sesuai juga yang dialami ya, Mas. makanya beragam cinta. Dari cinta buta, cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan, sampai cinta mati.

    1. Itu definisi cinta dari sudut pandang Interaksi satu sama lain. Ada yang persepsi dan penerimaanya sama, sehingga mereka "Jadian", ada yang tidak terjadi penerimaan di salah-satu pihak, jadilah drama-drama ^_^. Drama ini bikin hidup penuh cerita :D

  6. Ngebahas soal cinta gak ada habisnya, setiap orang pasti punya cara yang berbeda dalam memaknai cinta.

  7. Cinta itu beragam rasanya ya, ada yang bikin sakit juga ada yang buat bahagia, tapi memang cinta itu harus ada pada setiap manusia.

    1. Iya mbak, kalau nggak ada perasaan cinta, perlu dipertanyakan kesehatan jiwanya.

  8. Cinta... deritanya memang tiada akhir. Begitu kata seseorang di tv. Hehehe. Dan setelah berkeluarga cinta adalah yang paling utama karena tanpa cinta hidup terasa hampa. Bukan begitu mas irpan?

    1. Mba, kata2 itu adalah kata2nya ti pat kai.
      Si babi dalam cerita sun go kong.

    2. Serial Kera Sakti tahun 90-an. Kita seumuran kayaknya mbak ^_^

  9. Kalau pepatah Arab mengatakan
    "Jangan terlalu mencintai orang, suatu saat bisa jadi ia yang kita cinta bisa kita benci banget, begitupun sebaliknya" jadi cintai sesuai porsi biar gak sakit banget wkwkwk

    1. Baiknya kita sikapi cinta seperti kondisi tubuh lainnya, seperti lapar, ngantuk,dsb. Kita tentunya punya makanan Favorit, tapi nggak segitunya kan, kalau makanan Favorit kita kehabisan, kita bunuh diri. Biasa aja, ntar juga ada lagi makanannya.

  10. well talking about love is never ending story, even the sad story of love sound sweet when you sing it isn't it

    1. This can be made as quote, "even the sad story of love sound sweet when you sing it"

  11. Cinta....
    Cinta tak melulu kepada orang yang kita suka ya, cinta bisa kepada siapa saja karena bersifat Universal.
    Cinta kepada Allah SWT, orang tua, saudara,kerabat,sahabat dan masih banyak lainnya.
    Ehh tapi jangan terlalu berlebih cinta nya, kecuali terhadap sang pencipta ya

  12. Cinta oh cinta. Perasaan itu kyk rahasia Illahi ya, kdng kalau ketemu yg disuka tiba2 udah ngrasa cocok dan ngrasa oh baeklah si dia jodohku dll :D
    Setuju banget ini cinta antara dua org dewasa emang butuh pikiran dewasa gak sekadar perasaan. Apalagi kalau udah ada anak trus bingung mau bawa hubungannya ke mana, yaa sayang banget.Makanya kalau ada anak ABG sok saling sapa mama papa ke pacarnya aku agak eneg, blm tau aja dia kalau udah berumah tangga, ini kenapa komengku esmosi wkwkwk maaf m aaf

  13. Ngomongin tentang cinta memang gak ada habisnya. Masya Allah... Betapa panjang dan berlikunya penafsiran tentang cinta. Beda kepala beda pula pemikirannya tentang apa itu cinta

  14. Makasih infonya nih.bener2 kali namanya cinta gak ada abisnya ya pasti banyak bgt

  15. Yang pasti tidak ada cinta buta. Hanya orang yang tidak mau berpikir yang menganggap cinta itu segalanya dalam hidup

  16. "Can you imagine what will happens if Human is like other "irresponsible" animal? A man meets a woman, have sex, the man leave and then have sex with another woman. The woman got pregnant, deliver baby, then leave the baby to grow by themselves? Scary isn't it."

    it's also a scary thing when we, human, have sex irresponsibly then PMS (penyakit menular seksual" is spread out wide: HIV, AIDS, etc. Those are scary!!!

    But, you know... to find love is not always an easy thing for some people. #curcol 😂

  17. Love is not easy, but love is everything...

    The content is powerful, detail and interesting to read. You're something kak, nice!
    Wish i could write the article like you.

  18. Apalah artinya cinta.. deritanya tiada pernah berakhir...

    Secara saya masih di bawah umur, pembicaraan soal cinta memang saya gak paham euy.. Entahlah

  19. Love is a commitment between a man and a woman :)

  20. Bagi saya Cinta adl kata kerja, begitu kita menyatakan cinta dengan menikah, berarti siap bertanggung jawab atas resiko (mis menafkahi(

  21. A very long article in english:)

    Cinta memang universal, siapa saja pasti memilikinya. Dan ngga cuma manusia, makhluk lain juga punya rasa cinta

  22. Baru kali ini baca postingan soal cinta, berasa jleb banget. Apalagi pas bagian... So when you experiencing trouble in a love relationship, please act normally. duhhh... maaap deh, soalnya seringkali hilang logika kalau mengalami sesuatu sama cinta...

  23. Membahas soal cinta pasti gak ada habisnya. Cinta ke Yang Maha Esa, cinta ke orang tua dan saudara, cinta pada pasangan dan cinta pada anak.

    Ter- the best adalah cinta pada ortu dan anak. Tiada duanya ituhhh.

  24. Cinta itu hal yang pasti dimiliki antara laki-laki dan perempuan.
    Cuma masing-masing memiliki cara yang berbeda dalam mewujudkan cintanya.

    Uwuwuw bahas soal cinta, berat akh hehe..

  25. Kalau sudah ngomongin cinta tidak jauh dari perasaan, memang susah menghilangkan perasaan kalau sudah cinta. mau cinta sama sesama manusia, hewan, tumbuhan benda apapaun itu. Jadi kalau sudah cinta biarkan ia mengalir hinga sampai cinta itu berakhir. Karena yang bisa menghentikan perasaan itu ya hanya kita

  26. I wanna know satangcheoreom dalkomhadaneunde
    I wanna know haneureul naneun geot gatdaneunde
    I wanna know know know know
    What it love? sarangi eotteon neukkiminji
    Maaf, saya malah nyanyi...
    tapi ya gitu deh, cinta mah enggak bisa dijabarkan dengan tulisan, bahkan yang lagi merasakan aja bingung juga cinta tuh apa siih..


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